


Emma's horrible, terrible, no good, really bad week.

by 2Lot



Category: X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (Comics)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Crack, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Attempt at Humor, Awesome Emma Frost, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crime Fighting, Crimes & Criminals, Emma Frost & Erik Lehnsherr Friendship, Emma Frost is a Good Friend, Erik Has Feelings, Erik Lehnsherr Loves Charles Xavier, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is a Sweetheart, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Gangs, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, Humor, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Play Fighting, Protective Erik, Rival Relationship, Rivalry, There Goes the Neighborhood, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25677880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2Lot/pseuds/2Lot
Summary: “You know you could just ask him out, right, Erik?“, Emma says with an eye-roll, “Not all of us have to freeze our bits off night after night just so you can wait for Charles, sorry -‘Professor X‘ - to swoop in and stop us from doing  - what exactly, by the way? Are we even stealing anything tonight?““Of course we are. Later.“ Erik adjusts the cool new Brotherhood hoodie that they all just got custom made. “We are out here protecting mutant rights, Emma. And for some much needed tuition money. Now can you focus, please.“~The one in which the X-men are, for all intents and purposes, just a little less impressive.AU in which they are all a lot younger and have virtually no powers. Not that it stops high schooler Erik from declaring himself Magneto and leading a rag-tag band of barely-mutant teenagers to create chaos in their neighborhood and steal from the rich - all to protect mutant rights, of course, and maybe, just maybe because he knows Charles‘ teenage neighborhood watch will come chasing.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Jean Grey/Logan (X-Men), Jean Grey/Scott Summers
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Emma's horrible, terrible, no good, really bad week.

**Author's Note:**

> I really don't know what happened here.

“You know you could just ask him out, right, Erik?“, thinks loudly and with an eye-roll, “Not all of us have to freeze our bits off night after night just so you can wait for Charles, sorry -‘Professor X‘ - to swoop in and stop us from doing - what exactly, by the way? Are we even stealing anything tonight?“

“Get out of my head. And of course we are. Later.“ 

Erik moodily adjusts the cool new Brotherhood hoodie that they all just got custom made. “We are out here protecting mutant rights, Emma. And for some much needed tuition money. Now can you focus, please.“

Emma doesn't even try to hide her yawn. She should have gone out with Sebastian tonight instead of hanging out with the kiddies once again. He is a dick but at least he’s in college. 

“Honestly, Erik,” she deigns to continue out loud, “If you weren’t such a darling, I would have long left you high and dry. And then where would you be? Playing hide and seek in the dark with some overzealous children.”

The dark-hair boy next to her scowls, clearly taking offense to her undermining his finely curated villain's image. “Call me Magneto, damn it. Someone might hear.”

Another eye-roll, this one so far into her head that he looks disgusted. “But, Magneto, how would anyone ever deduce your secret identity, what with that nifty dollar-store mask you’re rocking, honey?”

She smirks when she senses Erik blush angrily under said mask. It really does look a bit cheap and ridiculous by daylight, courtesy of Angel ordering a bunch for everyone on eBay, but in the dark ‘Magneto’ could pass for a wiry burglar. 

If he were, in fact, finally breaking into any houses.

“Angel and Peter should be done scouting out the target soon. Then, we can finally steal back the target.”

The target, it should be said, is Pyro’s bus pass which they are stealing back from some bully at the bus stop.  
When Pyro came to their afternoon meeting, cheeks flaming red, Erik had immediately declared the theft a hate crime and here they are, eight hours later, losing sleep over a piece of plastic that takes eight dollars to replace. 

As if on cue, Peter and Angel sneak around the corner like they are in some god damn mission impossible movie. Emma starts humming the movie theme, only to be elbowed in the ribs by Magneto.

“Alright, status report,” Erik jumps down from the wall to meet his co-conspirators, “Is he down?”

“Fast asleep,” Angel stage-whispers, “His mom and dad, too. He won’t see justice coming!”

“Alright, Angel, you use your powers to fly up to the window and open it, then Quicksilver will use his superhuman speed to extract the target.”

The two nod eagerly and stalk off, back around the house. Erik’s purple cape billows behind him as he rushes off. Emma gingerly hops off the wall, careful not to break her new heels. 

Best go after them and make sure they don’t mess up royally, she muses. It’s not all that unlikely, considering Angel’s gift of flight consists of her flapping her shiny useless wings and eventually letting Peter hoist her up until she can reach the window. She can fly about as much as a squirrel can - which is still not as depressing to watch as Peter’s ‘super speed’. Really, he just runs kinda fast. Maybe he’ll take his track team to state or something. He certainly needs new hobbies.

“Angel, be ready, I’m going to manipulate the metal now,” Erik announces gravely, reaching out his hands in concentration. To Erik’s credit, his mutation is at least somewhat cool. He has just enough pull to flip the metal locks on the window open. 

Angel slips in and, a minute later, emerges victoriously with Pyro’s bus pass. 

“I used the permanent marker to write thief on his forehead,” she beams as she jumps down into Peter’s waiting arms, “Good luck explaining that one to society, buddy!” 

Just as they high five, a bright light flares up down the street, and the sound of footsteps rushes towards them. 

“Stop! In the name of the X-men, I command you to cease your thievery, Magneto!”

And there they are finally, the main even of the evening. With a sigh, Emma starts playing candy crush on her phone as she waits to go home finally.

“Ah! But Professor X, surely you didn’t think it would be this easy!” Erik could not sound more excited right now. He even forgets his much-practiced evil laugh at the sight of his -for lack of a less embarrassing term – nemesis. 

Charles’ disguise is as useless as ever, the black Zorro mask over his eyes hiding nothing. At least he has changed out of that god awful librarian’s outfit this time. It was really hard not to say anything that time. 

The teenagers flanking him are not doing much better. The idea of buying in bulk hasn’t halted at their door step either it seems. Jean’s mask is slightly bigger but her hair is as ridiculously and obviously red as always, and Scott’s reflective designer sunglasses really only make the black and yellow spandex suit look even more ridiculous.  
Emma wonders where Logan is tonight, if he simply finally died of shame from being a college freshman who was talked into a superhero costume or if he’s had another jealous blowup with Jean and Scott. 

Erik, of course, is entirely focused elsewhere anyway. 

“Cease?!” he shouts, “We, the brotherhood, are here to serve justice for all mutant kind and we will not by hindered by your X-men! But come - join us instead in our fight against the humans!”

As always, he extends a dramatic hand towards Charles, urging him to take it. 

‘I can show you the world,’ Emma hums in Erik’s head, smiling smugly when he swats around his head like she is a fly he can bat away. 

He could shut her out easily, as amazing as her power of reading thoughts is compared to those of the others, she is by far not as powerful as she leads on. At the moment though, Erik is much too distracted by ‘the enemy’.

“Magneto, no, we can all live on peace! You must consider coexistence!” Charles counters dramatically.

There they go again, with the same washed out arguments, back and forth. One would think that as much effort as they put into these games, they’d at least come up with some new lines now and then. Charles looks dead serious at least, she has to give him that. She has found herself hoping that the boy is method acting at times, but no – dead serious. Unbelievable.

“Coexistence?!”, Magneto barks, indignant, “Do you even know what that boy -man, what that man did? That he stole a...a largely important item of personal identification and pride from one of our own?! No, my friend, peace was never and option!”

And then they’re at it, once again beginning an epic battle on some poorly lit street in the suburbs. Emma has merely graced these with the descriptor ‘epic’ due to the ridiculous amount of time they take up in her life. Aside from that, it’s usually pretty pathetic really.

Nevertheless, the groups launch at each other, Jean jumping Angel with a shrill cry and Scott chasing a laughing Peter across the street, always just slightly out of reach. 

With a, “Surrender, I don’t want to harm you, Magneto!”, Charles tackles Erik to the ground, and Emma groans as they roll around the concrete. If at least this were interesting. She’s never actually seen either land a square punch.  
Charles may have tried for all she knows, but of course Erik is nearly twice his size and easily able to grab and push him down time and time again. 

At least it should be quick now.  
For all his advantages, Erik usually falters at the first bump Xavier contracts during their scuffles, too focused on not accidentally hurting the smaller teenager to be any use to his cause at all.

Predictably, Charles, with his own frantic movements, manages to hit his head against the curb after a minute, ever his clumsy self, and his soft, “Ow” throws Erik to an extent that Charles finally manages to flip them around and hold the larger teen down for once. 

“Surrender, Magneto,” he gasps victoriously, “Return what you have stolen and the police may be lenient.” 

There is, of course, no one with enough free hands to actually call the police. 

Except for the annoyed neighbors which have started to come to their windows to watch their fight with growing annoyance. 

“Get out of here, people are trying to sleep!”, someone already shouts, followed by, “Hey, Eddie, isn’t that your bus pass down th- oh my God what on God’s green earth is that on your face?!”

Emma sighs. Officer Stryker will be so pissed if he is pulled out here for ‘this’ again. 

‘Time to go, Erik,’ she thinks impatiently.

‘Can’t’, Erik pants back happily, ‘I’m being held down at the moment.’

Indeed, Charles has grabbed him by the wrists and is straddling him, fiercely determined to detain Magneto.  
Erik puts up the least amount of struggle he can manage without actually just lying there, clearly trying not to shakes Charles off by accident. All the while, Charles seems to think nothing of the fact that his fingers do not even manage to close all the way around Magneto’s wrists. 

The joy Erik’s mind is emanating is enough to make Emma’s teeth hurt.

‘Fraid you’ll have to keep pulling your sweetheart’s pigtails another time, honey,’ she insists, ’Stryker is about to arrive.’

That finally gets Erik moving.

“Advance towards the back!”, he shouts at his squad. Angel just so manages to grab onto the coveted bus pass before she skips over the wall, fluttering into some dark bushes. Peter waves at Scott before leaving him in the dust. 

“Mission accomplished,” Emma provides helpfully as she leisurely walks past Erik and Charles, down the street and away. “Feel free to wrap this up at any time.”

She doesn't turn around to watch the disgrace that is Magneto trying to figure out how to uber-carefully yet villainously disentangle himself from Professor X.

_______________________________

Made up some words there. 

So, what do we think? :)


End file.
